Regrets
by Straya
Summary: [Gen1, IDW Comics Continuity] A discussion with Hunter leaves Ratchet with even more regrets after the attack outside Lebanon, Missouri.


_Disclaimer: The Transformers and all related material belong to Hasbro, concept originally created and licensed through Takara Co. LTD._

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_Author's Note: This takes place in IDW comics continuity and contains spoilers for all of Infiltration, Escalation up through issue #2 and a few basic points from the Stormbringer mini-series. While this doesn't fit perfectly within Escalation's timeline, I felt the dynamic/friendship between Ratchet and Hunter was one that could use a bit more exploration. So if you wanted to see more interaction between the two of them, this story's dedicated to you._

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**"Regrets"**

"Hunter, I don't see the point in debating the issue. I already told you--"

"You don't get it, do you? Or is it just that you don't WANT to get it, Ratchet? You can't do anything about this because Prowl's got a _tree limb_ up his tailpipe, so you're refusing to acknowledge how you really feel about this."

The Autobot medic rubbed the back of his helm with one hand, the holomatter image of his "human self" mimicking the motions where it stood in front of Hunter. Nearby, Verity and Jimmy sat on their borrowed beds, watching and listening while their companion put forth what was sure to be yet another futile effort to make their alien hosts understand.

"It's a waste of words at this point, Hunter," Jimmy commented before lying back on the sheets, his hands clasped behind his head. "Don't bother. They don't get it."

Verity said nothing, shifting her gaze to the floor by her feet.

"I don't know why all of you insist on the projections in front of the three of us, either," Hunter continued, folding his arms across his chest. "I can't speak for everyone here, but after everything we've been through, it's like...like..."

"They're dumbing down the experience?" Jimmy offered. "After nearly getting buried alive and exploded into a million pieces on the highway, actually looking at a twenty foot tall alien isn't really anything, anymore."

Hunter frowned. "Er, right. What he said."

"And I told you already that if it were up to me, things would not be this way," Ratchet said, unable to suppress the exasperation in his tone. "I don't hold high enough office to sway Prowl's decisions, not when my own rule breaking has supposedly proven that I am not capable of making sound decisions."

The three humans were silent a long moment before Hunter spoke again, meeting the holomatter projection's gaze. "Ratchet, can I talk to you? Just for a few minutes, human to robot?"

Outside the organic's containment unit, the medic glanced about briefly. No other mechs in sight. One optic narrowed in thought. What more could Prowl do at this point, anyway? He nodded. "Hold on."

As the projection faded from sight, Hunter looked to his two bunkmates. "This okay with you two?"

"We're not your keeper, man, but I think you're beating a dead horse into glue, here," Jimmy sighed.

"What's the point, Hunter? Really?" Verity finally looked up, a hard expression on her face. "They're going to send us back, no matter what we did to help them. You might as well give up on your fanboy dreams."

"Whoa, Verity... That was pretty harsh." The mechanic sat up, glancing from her to Hunter.

Hunter winced internally at the comment, but did not have time to shoot a retort back before part of the containment unit folded up and out of the way, allowing him access to the larger room beyond. Ratchet stood just out of the way, waiting. Shrugging, Hunter turned away to leave. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

As soon as the human was clear of the folding walls, Ratchet reached over to a nearby console and tagged a few keys, causing the room to reform once more. Hunter watched the walls connect with the metal floors before turning to look up at the red and white standing over him.

"I admire your tenacity, but I don't see a point to this," Ratchet said with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"Verity is probably right, but I thought maybe you out of everyone here would understand."

"Right about what?"

"You remember when you first picked us up? Right after my van was destroyed?"

"Not easily forgotten." Ratchet fought the urge to regenerate the holomatter projection. He didn't like the feeling of standing over such a small creature. "What about it?"

Hunter stuffed his hands in his pockets. "When I realized the projection in the driver's seat wasn't the real you, I said that you were 'one of them'."

"We do monitor Earth newscast reports, as well as various online sources to make sure we have not exposed ourselves too much. And prior to the escalation of the Decepticon situation, we did so to be sure our enemies hadn't taken the next step. We're aware of the conspiracy theorists who insist that monitoring 'extravehicular activity' is a legitimate form of alien monitoring."

"So it doesn't surprise you that some crazy human was out driving around in the middle of nowhere, hoping for a sighting?"

Again, the mech fought the urge to bring the projection back online. He shifted his weight a little, the respondents in his various leg actuators and servos reminding him of his size as they automatically sent diagnostic reports to his processors and positronic brain. Finally, Ratchet turned and walked to the nearest wall opposite the containment unit and sat down, leaning his back against the paneled surface. Hunter watched with one raised eyebrow before following after.

"It surprised me initially," Ratchet finally replied, answering the question. "But I didn't have time to explain myself or even physically register the emotion."

Hunter shook his head. "Do you know how much time I've spent TRYING to find you guys? To figure out if a place like the Ark-19 was even real? As dangerous as it was to help you and Bumblebee find that old bunker, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Life is too short and too ordinary to just let something like this pass me by."

"Life _is_ too short for your species and that's the problem, Hunter. Even Prowl, for as stubborn as he has been about the situation, doesn't want you to be involved if it means you'll be a casualty in the process. I haven't spoken with him about it, but I suspect Optimus Prime feels much the same way. We were stationed here to monitor Decepticon activity, not to become directly involved in the lives of the native species."

"Then what have you been doing all this time, Ratchet? I thought Prowl took issue with you because you kept wanting to play the hero to us humans."

Ratchet exhaled heavily through his intakes. "It's...it's in my nature to aid others. I was assigned my current position because this detachment needed a surgeon and a field medic. But...I suppose on my first few forays into your world, I felt a need to bend -- even break -- a few rules."

"So what was it? A car accident? A car 'jacking? It had to be something on or near a highway, right?"

"An accident. I don't think I realized immediately that your, pardon the phrase, 'primitive technology' did not allow for transportation as durable as the body of an average Autobot. But when I came upon the wreck and found the female driver dead and her offspring still alive but trapped inside the vehicle, I could not resist the urge to assist. You said it yourself, Hunter... Life is too short. Your human lives are but a flash in the pan compared to the thousands or even millions of years a Cybertronian can go on living. The child in that wreck could not have yet lived even a tenth of her life and if she wasn't rescued, chances were she wouldn't live another day or so."

"...and thus began your spree of rule breaking and bending."

"Yes."

Hunter sighed, himself, and sat down cross-legged on the floor beside the mech. "But there's a difference between being in something unintentional, like a car accident, and making the decision to be in a hazardous situation. Don't you think you guys are being a little, I don't know, arrogant in leaving us humans out of the decision making process, here? Maybe you Autobots have been fighting the Decepticons for a long time, but this isn't YOUR planet. It's ours. And if things get out of hand, people are going to find out about your war, anyway. Don't you think you should have at least a few human contacts? You Autobots are supposed to be the good guys in this fight. And I'm not trying to sound cheesy or clichéd about this, but I always thought 'the good guys' were the ones who did everything they could to do things the right way."

"So our human contacts should be an alien chasing conspiracy theorist, a mechanic and a runaway thief?"

"I'm going to pretend I don't feel insulted. Instead, I'm going to say that knowing Verity, Jimmy and I is something of a start. If you let us help you and learn how to interact with us, you'll do better later if you have to get involved with some government big-wigs. You guys are still aliens for god's sake. You can't just transform in front of the White House and expect not to get shot up by our military, even if our puny human weapons probably aren't enough to put any of you down."

Ratchet sat in silence for several long moments, staring at his own knee joints before letting a regretful look shade his expression, optics glowing softly. "If it were up to me, Hunter, you wouldn't have to go back to wherever you came from. Verity's words about not being wanted anywhere, by anyone cut deeper than I care to admit. Unfortunately, we as a race know what it's like to have little to return to... I won't bore you with the graphic details or long history of it all, but our home planet, Cybertron, is little more than an empty, radioactive husk right now. Nothing lives on or in it. Our war decimated it, and that's part of the reason the Decepticons are playing the infiltration game on alien worlds. And even though Cybertron is my home, Earth has become a home away from home because I can still do what I feel I do best here - save lives. But being what I am makes that difficult. It has been...nice...to have a connection with natives like you, Verity and Jimmy. I don't understand the three of you as well as I would like to and that's part of the reason I wish you were allowed to remain with us longer. But even though I'm telling you this, I would appreciate it if you didn't pass this along to Verity and Jimmy until the three of you are back in your own world, again. Knowing would make it harder on all involved."

"That...does make it harder, yeah," Hunter admitted lowly. "Sorry, Ratchet. I guess all this time I was hoping to make you understand what this has been like from our point of view, mine especially, without realizing the finer points behind yours."

"I would also say that I would like to continue our interactions and conversations outside the Ark on personal visits to wherever it is you'll be going, but I really don't know what will happen next."

"Will you be the one taking us back, Ratchet?"

"I...don't know. Perhaps. I can only suppose that it will depend on what Optimus Prime and Prowl have planned," the mech said in turn before leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "And you have my apologies for 'dumbing down the experience' with the projection. That was never my intention."

Standing up, Hunter managed a half-hearted, lopsided smile. "Just trying to make the situation more 'normal' and comfortable for us, I guess?"

"Mostly, but for me, it also has to do with my personal level of comfort. I don't care for standing over sentient beings so much smaller than myself. I would rather be level enough to look the three of you in the eye."

"Do you mind if I tell the others that much?"

Ratchet smiled a little. "That's fine. I dislike the idea of the three of you departing with sore feelings towards me."

"I doubt we'd hold a grudge for long," Hunter admitted. "You and some of the rest have tried to make our short stay comfortable. And we've been over it too many times now, but it's just the leaving part that's disappointing."

"Primus willing, Hunter, we'll win out on your world and you, Jimmy and Verity will see us again." Gaining his own feet, Ratchet walked back to the console to open the containment unit.

"'Primus'?"

"A topic for another time. Left alone, it leaves something for us to talk about when we hopefully meet again after your return home, correct?"

Hunter smirked. "Sure, Ratchet. And I'll hold you to that."

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_"Ratch? It's Ironhide. Look... I'm sorry, but the news ain't good. I've still got Jimmy an' Verity with me here at some gas station rest stop outside Lebanon, Missouri, but somethin' happened with Sunstreaker and Hunter. 'Streaker is tough an' all, an' he got into this outfit knowin' there'd be trouble at some point, but... I gotta bring the two kids back for now. They're pretty upset so I'm gonna put 'em in the unit for some time alone soon as I get back."_

_"Ratchet, this is Optimus Prime. Jazz, Wheeljack and I are currently pursuing a lead on Sunstreaker's remains. We can't be sure of Decepticon involvement in the attack...but please prepare the medical bay. I pray to Primus there is still a functional spark somewhere in Sunstreaker's chassis..."_

_"Hey, Ratchet, it's Bumblebee. I just got word of what happened out by Lebanon... I don't think we've lost Sunstreaker. He's too tough to let a few humans take him down, and if anyone can put him back together, you can. Sideswipe's been counting on us to keep his meaner half out of trouble, so we gotta pull through on that. Just...don't take it too hard. I heard Hunter was riding with Sunstreaker when the attack happened and... Look, you can't save everyone, alright? I don't know why I feel like I should say something because you're a professional and you've seen your share of losses. I know you have. But...I guess it's just because of how you worried about Hunter, Verity and Jimmy before we decided to check out that bunker. It's not your fault. Just keep that in mind, doc. Hunter wouldn't blame you..."_

Turning off his communicator, Ratchet slammed both fists against the work table in front of him, dental plates gritted, optics shuttered. Bumblebee was right... Hunter wouldn't blame him. Wouldn't really blame any of them. And this wouldn't be the first time someone the medic knew perished in the middle of a skirmish. But that didn't make things any easier. It never did.


End file.
